happiness in the heart of the joyful

I don't think we know what happiness really means. I was thinking about that today as I went on a walk around my neighboorhood in search of a bank. I remember distinctly when I got my acceptance letter from Moody. I had heard from my friends that if the envelope was small, it meant that I had been rejected. So, when my dad handed me this letter, my heart fell as I saw the size of the envelope. I looked at my dad in fright, but he seemed to know something I didn't and urged me to open it anyway, even though I told him I knew I had been rejected. To my delight, I found out that I had been, in fact, accepted. My heart lept and I had the sudden impulse to scream my lungs out in excitement. After these feelings abated, I had no idea what I expected of all of this. I knew that this letter had been a determining factor in what I was going to do after I graudated from highschool, but still, I didn't know what it was.
For me, that moment was pure bliss. In a year, I would find out that happiness, as I understood it, didn't lie there. Not that I left because I was unhappy, I just knew that I wasn't supposed to be there. Does that mean that my moment of happiness wasn't actually happiness? I don't think so. I truly felt a joy that I have rarely felt since. At least, not something akeen to bliss. I conclude, that  I was happy because I hadn't failed. See, I had proved to myself and the people around me that I was capable of doing something greater than myself. For the first time, during that time, I hadn't failed at something. Failure brings us down, and it takes a while to recover. I should know, I have often failed mostly at relationships and have often felt like I've failed myself. Yet, I know, that happiness doesn't lie in success. However, at that moment, I knew that for a split moment, it brought me that momentary happiness.
I know that I will never feel that way for long periods of time, but I know that I've learned that joy not happiness should be my pursuit. Joy in the things that I do, in life, in good friends, in the things I believe and strive for. Therein lies a key to a successful life. Even in times of great pain, always find joy. It's always hidden somewhere, and in the last place you would look for it.