that David played when he pleased the Lord

Nostalgia hits me at really odd moments.

It all depends on the type of music, what I'm remembering about or specific pictures. The song is, "Hallelujah" as sung by Kate Voegle. It's a strange thing to think about the past. It brings such a mix of feelings and reactions. When it comes to some of my friends, I remember them dearly and miss them. However, most of the memories come bittersweet. It's funny how that works. The past is not completely bad and it's not completely good. It's in the middle, leaning towards one extremity rather than the other.

I think I miss the false sense of security I had before. I think I had life figured out then, as opposed to knowing nothing about it right now. I knew that everything that was happening, didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Now it's more complicated.. people aren't as predictable. There's no true black and white. People seem to like living in the "gray" areas in their lives.

Now I feel I'm stuck in a waiting room. Waiting for the future and sometimes being drawn to the past. There's no happy medium, as we'd like there to be. However, I don't want to be in a tug of war between these two demanding forces. I just want to live in the present. Sometimes, that's hard to do when you're constantly questioning each step you take.

I wish I knew that chord...

....that secret chord to please God everyday.

Then maybe things would become easier....


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