thoughts regarding you, again

Thoughts were flashing through my mind like scenes from a drawn out movie. The day had passed by in a blur of raindrops and moments hiding under an umbrella, blocking half of the world. I remember buying a butterfly from a hippie, feeling silly in my purple trousers and gray vest. I could feel my hair growing bigger as the rain seeped in. 
All I could imagine were scenes of what could have been. The worst place to be is in the land of "what if." I imagined the exact dress I would wear, what my hair would look like, and the songs I would put on a mixed CD for you. 
How predictable. Everything went exactly as it was supposed to. It ran its course and nothing suprised but my own tears and scattered wishes, disguised as my own stardust. 
So on goes the folk music and the uncanny connection I have to the moon.
I had love stored in tiny boxes and was ready to open them up for you.
I think you would have liked what was inside.
Instead, I finish writing this and remind myself, that there are rainbows to chase and you are holding me back. My love is bigger than my heart, I know that I will love soon again. There's enough love to go around.