my life would suck without you

Gary Chapman wrote about the four love languages, if I'm not mistaken. I actually think there might be more, but I only remember what mine are. First and foremost, it's affirmation. Thinking about my highschool days, I mostly seeked it from my closest friends. As long as they affirmed their love for me, I didn't care about what everyone else thought.
There's a quote I found a long time ago that still sticks in my mind, "People don't care how much you know, unless they know how much you care."I think it's been my failing ever since I found this about myself, in particular. Seems that everytime I started to care too much, I could feel the people I cared about slowly slipping away.
So now I have this difficulty, it's my Achille's foot, you could say. Either I care too much or I don't care at all. It's hard to find the balance, because either way you're bound to get hurt. I've been working on this area in my life, because it's the area that brings me so much joy and at the same time, sorrow. I love getting to know people, but I keep them at arm's length, because I have a tendency to see the beauty in people and then am bound to care way too much.
It's not that I am afraid of getting hurt, but I know how much I put on myself. I'm my worst judge, and most of the time I put the weight on myself, rather than acknowledging that it might be the person's fault as well.
I, however, do not want to become an impenetrable being. Because I know that is not the way to live, you need to be open to people. They allow you to view yourself in a way, that you can never do so by looking in the mirror. They either help you become a better person or not. In the end, it's your decision to do let them impact you. But I understand that when you open yourself to people, it can be one of the most beautiful things in the world. Because, that's when you realize that we're not so different after all. Now are we?


  1. p.s. is that quote by C.S.Lewis?

  2. I completely understand your thoughts on this. Years ago I was in a situation that involved me loving the person too much in fear that they didn't love me. I was correct about the person, but the way I handled was wrong. I now have found a balance and I surround myself around people who care about me without abusing it and vice verse. I think this is something all people deal with in their lives. Its a human condition. I always think of the song - Everybody's Somebody's Fool. I wish you the best with this.

  3. Actually, you're thinking of Gary Chapman. He wrote a book called the five love languages. C.S. Lewis wrote a book (long before him) called the four loves. In the four loves, Lewis describes the different types of love that human beings feel towards people and/or objects. It's a much different focus. On another note, I love reading your blog, though I rarely comment. Someday I hope to see you face to face again! Until then, be well.

  4. loved this. it reminded me of this quote i just came upon in a book i'm reading..."a decision not to risk again is a decision not to love again"

    ...friendship or otherwise it's applicable! caring deeply for others is some risky business...


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