a wish to begin,

I’m not sure how to start. Seems like a part of me is somewhere, waiting for an answer, while the lesser version is here on the front lines. 

Does it seem we have different lives? My days intertwine to each other and it seems I live in different universes. 

I am here but I don't feel I'm here. It feels like I'm floating above it all, seeing my life in a film strip, looking for that happy ending. Maybe it's double exposure film, two things happening at the same time, and it all just compiles into an incredible picture. That's it. It means that somethings I don't have to choose, somethings happen for a reason to bring more beauty into my life. At times it doesn't make sense, but it will when I pull it out at the right time. 

Yet I wish I had the patience, or maybe the gumption. What is it that I need?