absence makes the heart grow fonder?

I spent most of the morning in the hospital with a friend who had to get a surgery to get kidney stones out. I was very productive, I started reading a book, and am more than a quarter of the way done. It's about famous authors lives, Shakespeare you know well is a lunatic, but did you know about Leon Tolstoi? Or.. Henry David Thoreau?
I am really tired though, probably from the lack of good sleep in the past couple of days. Tomorrow I am supposed to travel to São Paulo, but I have slowly been getting discouraged throughout the day. I really need to get back home, even though I'm okay here.
Now that I can leave, I'm scared of what's going to happen, being back for a month in Sampa. What it's going to mean. I am an enigma of a person. Actually, I really don't want to leave things the way they are. Especially with someone that has slowly been making his way into my heart. I want to say a proper goodbye, but alas, when it comes to relationships, it's hard to say what the other person thinks. I don't want to scare him away. These things take time. Maybe I need to go, and hopefully he'll miss me, and things will continue on its course. At least I am not frightened anymore, the kind that makes your heart beat faster and you can't breathe (and not in a good way) Here's to love, may it continue to baffle and amaze us.
So, I will leave you with this beautiful song,