to be moved, unwillingly, willingly and lovingly

Doomed to be unsatisfied with how things are, we go through life going after things that will completely satisfy. The beauty of it is that we will never find it, because it's superior to what we could ever imagine.

There's so much beauty around us, in the people we invest in, and in the places we go. Even in the midst of pain, we seem to find beauty in the fall. Yet, beauty, in itself is nothing without a purpose. What use is something beautiful if there is no function, no end result? 

I feel at times I wander, through the days, doing things I'm passionate about, but still missing something. I'm not sure what it is, but I will keep searching.

See, the thing is, there's something moving inside us that we don't quite understand. I know it to be my faith and the love I have for Jesus. That's what moves me, makes me wake up everyday to new challenges and having the risk that I will hurt and experience extreme pain. Growth doesn't happen otherwise. Yet when you experience it, you still wonder to what end!? It's complex and gruelling.

My hope is that I will just live what is given to me, and the oppurtunities that I am privileged to recieve.  Yet through it all know that my life is not my own.